Evap line?

Have I ever mentioned that I have a bit of a masochistic streak? I'm like a cutter, but with HPTs. Just wanted to set the scene for today, 12DPO with a temp drop and negative tests on 8, 10, and 11DPO.

So I took another HPT this morning (wondfo) thought it was negative and just left it on the counter. Then I'm straightening up this evening and go to toss it and think I might see something. There's the faintest shadow of a line when I hold it up to the light. Of course I immediately peed on another one and it's definitely negative.
I'll test in the morning, but I'm thinking I have my hopes up for no reason. This sucks.

Here, have a recipe:

Toddler Muffins

Great recipe I got from allrecipes.com and modified. The original called for a jar of baby food squash, but fresh squash works much better IMO. They taste like banana nut muffins but with veggies, and they keep in the fridge for about a week.

Ingredients

• 1/2 cup softened butter
• 1/2 cup brown sugar
• 2 large bananas
• 1 cup zucchini or other in season squash, grated or shredded
• 2 carrots, grated
• 2 eggs
• 1 cup all-purpose flour
• 1/2 cup oat bran
• 1 teaspoon baking soda
  
• 1 teaspoon pumpkin pie spice
• 1/2 teaspoon salt

Directions

1. Preheat oven to 375 degrees. Grease 24 mini muffin cups or 12 standard muffin cups.
2. In a mixing bowl, cream together the butter and brown sugar with an electric mixer until smooth. Mix in the bananas, eggs, and then slowly add the dry ingredients. Stir in the carrots and squash. Spoon the batter into the prepared muffin cups.
3. Bake until a toothpick inserted into the center comes out clean, 15 to 20 minutes. Cool in the pans for 10 minutes before removing to cool completely on a wire rack.

TTC #2, PCOS, and Arthritis

The last time I saw my RE was almost a year ago. I went to have my first annual post baby and get script for regular BCP since we were done BFing. My ovaries were cyst free and they said my ute looked great.

We had originally planned to try again this spring, but I broke my knee at the end of January and my leg has been shit ever since. I've always had chronic joint problems (skeletal, joint, and bone problems run in my family, one of my many genetic gifts) but this latest injury was the clincher for my left knee. Basically, I've known since HS that my knee caps are loose and don't track anywhere near where they should, and this causes them to slide out from side to side. Sometimes it's excruciating and sometimes it's just kinda annoying, but every time it happens it either breaks or wears down the cartilage in the joint. Nothing ever happens when the joint is engaged (when my knees are bent) but when my quads are relaxed and I'm doing something completely mundane, like turning to sit down. This last time I was in line at a ski lift and turned to talk to a friend, popped the damn thing out both to the left and the right and managed to chip off most of the cartilage I had left and then some bone. BTW this all happened on the first day of my vacation. Literally adding insult to injury. >:(

So I had an MRI, flew home in my leg immobilizer, and had arthroscopic surgery to get all the pieces out. Unfortunately my quad completely shut down during that week. My surgeon said it's not uncommon, every time I moved it I was pushing my knee cap back out and causing more pain, so my brain had pretty much shut off that muscle. That meant recovery was a bitch and a half because when you don't use them even for a little while, muscles atrophy. I was pretty much in bed for a full month, and my mom, ILs, and sister took turns staying and helping take care of E for almost 6 weeks. There is reconstructive surgery to fix the chronic issues in my knees, but the success rate isn't that great and it's just a stop gap before they replace the whole thing. Anyway, I'm not where I was before, but I'm finally comfortable with the idea of being pregnant again.

I put a call in to my trusty doctor and started Met in June, first cycle off BCP was July 13th. I'm charting of course, using OPKs, and supplementing with vitex like I did last time. PCOS wise I feel I'm doing pretty well, I can still ovulate without clomid (YAY!) and this cycle was actually 9 days shorter than my average (sweet). My LP was a couple days shorter than usual, but I'm not going to worry about it yet.

Weight is still a big concern for me with a second pregnancy. Last time by the day I delivered I was up 50 pounds. Most of that was my own fault, and then starting around 35 weeks my BP started to go up and I started to gain a lot of water weight. Like 3 or 4 pounds a week. Then I had a c-section and learned the true meaning of swelling. Dear God in heaven. Anyway, I'm actually a few pounds lighter than I was when I got pregnant with E, but I look completely different. My stomach still has that postpartum pouch so many of us get and can't seem to shake. I'm at peace with it for now though, my biggest concern is not to repeat the same mistakes as last time not just to be cute, but so my gimpy leg can stand a chance under all that pressure.

For now we're just taking it one day at a time and one cycle at a time. My doctor is cool with us doing our own thing, but wants to see me if I'm not KU after 3 cycles to do another cyst check. I'm feeling confident, which is still weird for me when it comes to this stuff. Here's hoping my next call to the office will be to announce my BFP!

It's been a while! Update on the fam

Eli is a toddler, H has a new job, and we've decided to start trying for a second.  I guess TTC gives me the blogging bug.  Eventually I will post our long over due birth story, but for now, have some pics:

 On our way to the park earlier this evening

Toddler self portrait

Old wives tales, just for fun

Cravings: Definitely not craving sour. Sweet things (girl) and dairy (boy apparently?).

Belly shape & other physical changes: Carrying low for sure and the belly is pretty basketball round (boy). I've had some really awesome pregnancy hair (boy) and I haven't gained any weight in my face (boy). I had horrible pregnancy acne (girl) and bad m/s (girl). DH has yet to gain any sympathy weight (boy). My leg hair is growing the same rate as before (girl), nose is the same shape (girl), my feet are always cold so no change there (girl), and increase in headaches (boy).

Chinese gender chart: Girl

Heart rate: Baby's h/r started out high and then gradually slowed down. At the big u/s it was in the 130's (boy).

Obviously we got a couple views like this:



that pretty much ended the debate. But I thought it was interesting to see which turned out to be right or wrong. :)

19 Weeks, a little late

How far along? 19 weeks
Weight gain/loss: Up 16 pounds.
Maternity clothes? Same as last week
Stretch marks? Nothing yet. Phew!
Sleep? I need a pregnancy pillow. I cannot stop rolling onto my back, and when I'm on my back I wake up.
Best moment this week? The big u/s! Everything looks great and baby weighs 10 ounces already. He's breach and sitting right on my bladder (although they assure me this is normal and most of the time babies who are breach at 20 weeks are head down when they're ready to come out), and the stubborn little guy wouldn't uncross his legs or turn so the u/s tech could see the goods or the bottom of his spine. Our tech was wonderful though, and she had me use the rest room and brought me some juice to try to get LO to move around. As soon as she left the room I jumped up and started doing jumping jacks and threatening my future child with all yellow and green clothing and gifts. The words "I'm your mother and you have to listen to me," might have been uttered. Who knows if the was the sugary juice or the mild scolding but we managed to cajole the little guy into turning over, and we saw some boy parts! Still can't believe we're team peen!
Food cravings: All kinds of fruit, and milk. I've been having fruit parfaits daily.
Gender: BOY!!
Belly button in or out? Still in.
Movement? Yep! Everyday. What week does the kick counting start?
What I miss? This week, sweet sweet caffeine & alcohol.
What I'm looking forward to: Stronger kicks, painting the nursery, buying more boy clothes.

Now for some ultrasound pics!

And me:

18 Weeks

Your Baby: Week 18

Your fetus has become amazingly mobile (at least compared to you), passing the hours yawning, hiccuping, rolling, twisting, kicking, punching, sucking and swallowing. And, baby's finally big enough that you'll be able to feel those movements soon.

How far along? 18 weeks
Weight gain/loss: Up 15 pounds. (Holy freaking crap)
Maternity clothes? Same as last week
Stretch marks? Nothing yet. Phew!
Sleep? It's still hard to get and stay comfortable but it's getting better as I get more and more used to staying on my side.
Best moment this week? This was a really tough week. Things at work went from bad to here's my two weeks notice in the span of a day. Luckily I was offered another position that solves the problem. I feel relieved, but it's hard to say that's the best moment when so many shitty moments led up to it. I'm just happy things are ok again. Some good things that have been overshadowed by all this stress: I got to hear the baby this week at my appointment and I scheduled the big u/s for next week.
Food cravings: Cafe and tea lattes, Pb&j.
Gender: Finding out next week!!
Belly button in or out? Too early
Movement? A lot actually, a ton some of the more stressful days this week.
What I miss? Beer.
What I'm looking forward to: Finding out the gender!