Seriously, I don't know what I would do without this man. He rearranged some things with our finances and I feel so much better, we're really on the right track and can probably start TTC sooner than we thought, and we even have a safety net for me to switch jobs.
We have 22k for our down payment, 75% of which is our own savings over the course of this year. FIL is throwing in the rest of the down payment, the prepayments and a few improvements (inspection only turned up a few minor things, all of which are fixable in a weekend and FIL knows how to do all of them!) From there we're left with our other savings and Redfin's $3500, rebate (if you don't know about these guys and you are buying a home, CHECK THEM OUT!) then $8000 from the government. We are using that lovely government money and putting 10K towards my student loans, which takes a serious chunk out of our only source of debt. So now our mortgage and our loan payments will be significantly lower, and we still have about 3 months salary in savings left over. In case I "flip out and throw shit at my boss" (in DH's words) or just for the transitional period between jobs if I have to quit or get laid off. If we don't have to use it, it becomes our TTC and baby fund.
DH is a really fantastic money manager, and we're truly fortunate his parents are so generous. I felt such a wave of relief after he explained all of this to me last night, not just because we're in a good place money wise, but because he really listened to my concerns for the future and did what he could to make things better for us. <3
Friday, April 3, 2009
Wednesday, April 1, 2009
My plans = Fail.
So which would you rather have?
A) An awesome job you love with a shit commute or B) an OK job with a really short commute?
The correct answer for me is either, because right now I have both the crap job and crap commute.
This weekend DH and I were talking about some of the practicalities of our new abode, like my commute into DC. DH will only be 10 to 15 minutes from his job after the move and I will be at least an hour away and switching between 2-3 forms of transportation to get to my job. DH is the breadwinner and he plans to stay at the same company for at least 5 more years, I make about 1/3 of his pay and plan to get the fuck out asap, so it made the most sense for us to move closer to his job.
I have been looking for jobs with a shorter commute, but just like the rest of my year long job search, I haven't been having much luck. I have to keep this job until I find another one that pays the same or more for us to keep moving onward and upward, especially now that we have the responsibility of a real home. And even if I find something else within the next month, I have to stay at this job until we close on the house. The whole thing was making me feel a little freaked out and trapped. It's not like we bought a house that we couldn't afford, but if I wasn't working things would be pretty tight.
Anyway, I was getting really drained by the prospect and started venting about things to DH. I hate this job already and a shittier commute will just make things worse. I started talking about anything else I could possibly do to make money, nanny, waitress, lifeguard, all of which would be slightly ridiculous because they are the jobs I had in HS. Not to mention none of these would pay my salary now or are career oriented. DH started getting angry and said, "I thought you wanted to go back to work after we have kids?! You said you wanted to stay home for a few years but go back when they start going to school? What happened to that, you can't do that if you quit your job now and nanny, you'll have no experience in your field, we had a plan, I had a plan, you would really be screwing up my plan..." etc, you get the drift.
Of course then I started crying (God I am lame) and start saying I'm sorry I'm screwing up your plan, thanks for caring about what I want to do, blah blah blah. DH says, "That's not what I meant and you know it, but you can't just make decisions like that right now, we just bought a house for God's sake," etc. Yes, he had a very valid point, but I am still crying.
Basically it came down to me saying, "Don't you think this whole year has fucked up my plans?! My plan was to work for a couple years in a job that actually had something to do with my degree, save some money, have kids, stay home with them for a few years and then go back to work. I have tried my hardest to find that job and can't get hired, and I find out I can't have kids on my own either, WTF can I do? None of this was part of my plan!" I hate that I broke down like that, but every once in a while it still happens. I had a good cry and made DH feel bad, (not my intention) and we both decided the best thing to do right now is to wait it out and see if anything comes up this month. I'm still sending those resumes, but I'm trying not to think too much about it for now until we're settled.
Instead I'm trying to focus on the things I can control and do right now, like making plans for moving and decorating the house. So many things are going so well for us right now, and that's what I should be thinking about. If nothing turns up by mid May maybe it's time to look into an alternate career path or 2.
A) An awesome job you love with a shit commute or B) an OK job with a really short commute?
The correct answer for me is either, because right now I have both the crap job and crap commute.
This weekend DH and I were talking about some of the practicalities of our new abode, like my commute into DC. DH will only be 10 to 15 minutes from his job after the move and I will be at least an hour away and switching between 2-3 forms of transportation to get to my job. DH is the breadwinner and he plans to stay at the same company for at least 5 more years, I make about 1/3 of his pay and plan to get the fuck out asap, so it made the most sense for us to move closer to his job.
I have been looking for jobs with a shorter commute, but just like the rest of my year long job search, I haven't been having much luck. I have to keep this job until I find another one that pays the same or more for us to keep moving onward and upward, especially now that we have the responsibility of a real home. And even if I find something else within the next month, I have to stay at this job until we close on the house. The whole thing was making me feel a little freaked out and trapped. It's not like we bought a house that we couldn't afford, but if I wasn't working things would be pretty tight.
Anyway, I was getting really drained by the prospect and started venting about things to DH. I hate this job already and a shittier commute will just make things worse. I started talking about anything else I could possibly do to make money, nanny, waitress, lifeguard, all of which would be slightly ridiculous because they are the jobs I had in HS. Not to mention none of these would pay my salary now or are career oriented. DH started getting angry and said, "I thought you wanted to go back to work after we have kids?! You said you wanted to stay home for a few years but go back when they start going to school? What happened to that, you can't do that if you quit your job now and nanny, you'll have no experience in your field, we had a plan, I had a plan, you would really be screwing up my plan..." etc, you get the drift.
Of course then I started crying (God I am lame) and start saying I'm sorry I'm screwing up your plan, thanks for caring about what I want to do, blah blah blah. DH says, "That's not what I meant and you know it, but you can't just make decisions like that right now, we just bought a house for God's sake," etc. Yes, he had a very valid point, but I am still crying.
Basically it came down to me saying, "Don't you think this whole year has fucked up my plans?! My plan was to work for a couple years in a job that actually had something to do with my degree, save some money, have kids, stay home with them for a few years and then go back to work. I have tried my hardest to find that job and can't get hired, and I find out I can't have kids on my own either, WTF can I do? None of this was part of my plan!" I hate that I broke down like that, but every once in a while it still happens. I had a good cry and made DH feel bad, (not my intention) and we both decided the best thing to do right now is to wait it out and see if anything comes up this month. I'm still sending those resumes, but I'm trying not to think too much about it for now until we're settled.
Instead I'm trying to focus on the things I can control and do right now, like making plans for moving and decorating the house. So many things are going so well for us right now, and that's what I should be thinking about. If nothing turns up by mid May maybe it's time to look into an alternate career path or 2.
Friday, March 27, 2009
HOLY SHIT. We're homowners!!
AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!! They accepted our final offer! I'm so excited! I'm freaked the fuck out by huge purchases and commitments, but I've also got a really strong urge to nest, who wants to help me pick out paint samples?! More updates after I've calmed down.
Wednesday, March 25, 2009
Counter Offer Time
Well, we finally received their counter offer, they only came down a tiny bit from their list price. We're counter offering after we hear a number from our agent this morning, because even though the house is wonderful, is just not worth the list price for many reasons, a big one being the houses around it are selling for no where near that, and much closer to our original offer.
We also found another house that just went on the market today for the exact same listing price, same updates, more contemporary and in the same area but a notably "better" neighborhood. (To put this in perspective, the county we are looking in right now is the second richest county in the entire United States, so no area is really bad or good, it's just in comparison to the other neighborhoods in the county.) Basically, we going to counter offer again, and let them know that we love the house, but we're only going to pay so much for it. We are not going to be underwater and buy if for more than it's worth when there are comparable houses in better neighborhoods listed at the same price. Here's some pics of the house we are touring tonight or tomorrow night, DH likes it better because more contemporary and has a garage, but I love the older style and the really spacious rooms of the first one. We both think there is more potential for a multiple offer bidding war on the second and really would rather not get into that, but I guess we'll see!!
Living and Dining
Kitchen
Master
We also found another house that just went on the market today for the exact same listing price, same updates, more contemporary and in the same area but a notably "better" neighborhood. (To put this in perspective, the county we are looking in right now is the second richest county in the entire United States, so no area is really bad or good, it's just in comparison to the other neighborhoods in the county.) Basically, we going to counter offer again, and let them know that we love the house, but we're only going to pay so much for it. We are not going to be underwater and buy if for more than it's worth when there are comparable houses in better neighborhoods listed at the same price. Here's some pics of the house we are touring tonight or tomorrow night, DH likes it better because more contemporary and has a garage, but I love the older style and the really spacious rooms of the first one. We both think there is more potential for a multiple offer bidding war on the second and really would rather not get into that, but I guess we'll see!!
Living and Dining
Kitchen
Master
Tuesday, March 24, 2009
We made an offer on a house!
It's the perfect size, really close to DH's work and not too much further from the city for me, and it's right within our budget. Best of all, it is immaculately kept, the only thing that needs done is a little paint and decorating to make it our own, which we were thinking was going to be damn near impossible to find.
We really really hope we get it, our fingers are crossed that our first offer is a winner, but we have room to negotiate. We saw this house the day after it went on the market (not unusual to see a house gone the next day in DC and northern VA) and we're the first to put an offer in, which helps because we are not competing with anyone else yet. Now we just wait and see, it all depends on how much the owners want to try and hold out for and how long they are willing to keep the house on the market. This house is an absolute gem, but it is an older style and too far from downtown for a lot of buyers, so we don't think ::pounds on wood::: there will be a major bidding war.
We hear whether we've been rejected, counter offered or accepted by tonight. The suspense is killer! So here are some pics to oggle to pass the time, I know I won't be getting much else done today.
Outside Front
Outside Side (it's a corner lot)
Dinning Room
Kitchen
Living Room
Family Room
Pantry has hookups for washer dryer or a freezer, there are washer dryer hookups in another room that they must have used for gardening and to store their tools.
Spare room with more built-ins, I cannot wait to make this into an office/sewing/craft room. It is precious in person!
We really really hope we get it, our fingers are crossed that our first offer is a winner, but we have room to negotiate. We saw this house the day after it went on the market (not unusual to see a house gone the next day in DC and northern VA) and we're the first to put an offer in, which helps because we are not competing with anyone else yet. Now we just wait and see, it all depends on how much the owners want to try and hold out for and how long they are willing to keep the house on the market. This house is an absolute gem, but it is an older style and too far from downtown for a lot of buyers, so we don't think ::pounds on wood::: there will be a major bidding war.
We hear whether we've been rejected, counter offered or accepted by tonight. The suspense is killer! So here are some pics to oggle to pass the time, I know I won't be getting much else done today.
Outside Front
Outside Side (it's a corner lot)
Dinning Room
Kitchen
Living Room
Family Room
Pantry has hookups for washer dryer or a freezer, there are washer dryer hookups in another room that they must have used for gardening and to store their tools.
Spare room with more built-ins, I cannot wait to make this into an office/sewing/craft room. It is precious in person!
Friday, March 13, 2009
Crazy Week
Work drama. I hate to be that person complaining about their job when so many people are getting laid off, but I'm truly miserable at this position. I can't leave until I have something else lined up, so for now I will just have to vent on here about the stupid drama that makes me want to throat punch my boss on a regular basis. And yes, I've heard that shit rolls downhill, but this is just getting petty. My boss takes as many days off as she wants, but when my sister comes to visit on her spring break and I ask for one afternoon off, all of a sudden it turns into a power play where I have to ask corporate for permission? Something I have never had to do. By the way, I have never even had additional "sick" time for RE visits etc, taken out of my paycheck, even after I had gone over the oh so generous 2 sick days and 2 personal days for the year policy. And of of course when I called, corporate said that's fine, why are you asking us? I said I'm sorry if this is out of the blue, it seems weird to me too, but ___ wanted to make sure you knew about it. The fact that this "go make an ass out of yourself if you want time off" request comes from a woman who strolls in at 10 every morning, takes off early, and has at least one if not multiple appointments she has to get to in the middle of the day every week is what amazes me. Are we really going to start tattling on each other to corporate? REALLY? How old are you?
She's also ubber sensitive at the moment because she was out on Monday, (surprise surprise) to show her visiting family around DC (she has lived here for over 10 years, they've been on the tour before) and corporate decided to give out "dead" accounts including some of her's, to other AE's. Now I'm not saying that was the smoothest move by corporate, I'm sure a lot of AE's would have rather asked before just going after someone else's inactive account, and have the same courtesy extended to them. On Monday one of these "dead" accounts sent her an email (Oh yes, she doesn't put up out of office emails, she just has me check her email and answer things for her, so it looks like she is in the office) and wanted a rate quote. So I emailed back. It was a busy afternoon and the client never got back to me, but I didn't think anything of it.
It turns out the client was being called by an AE up at corporate and so he called them to do his trade instead. Now I am in trouble for emailing instead of calling, and for not trying to reactivate this account on my own, months ago. Um, last time I checked, I do not make any commission or bonuses for re-acts, and you the AE, were out having a grand old time while I was doing both our jobs. When I try to do more active marketing and create better materials, I get shut down and told that I was hired to do customer service and administrative tasks, and I shouldn't "waste my time" with that. So sorry boss lady, but you must be crazy if you think I'm going to make your sales calls for you and do all your dirty work and then take the blame for not making YOU enough money. Last time I checked I wasn't hired to pad your wallet with no gains to my own paycheck or advancement in my own career. Or maybe I was, and that my friends, is the whole problem.
I managed to have a pretty awesome week despite all this stupid crap, my sister and my mom came for a short but long overdue visit. They entertained themselves for a few days and saw the monuments and a couple Smithsonians. We all got to hang out in the evenings after work, and then yesterday I took them around in the afternoon to the the botanical gardens and the capitol building before they drove back to PA. And since this is lets go visit the newlyweds in their cramped apartment month, another set of friends is coming over Sunday night and DH is taking off Monday to show them around. Unfortunately spring means another wave of DH is traveling for work again, and he is leaving Monday night, and our guests are leaving Tuesday morning to stay with other friends in the area. On top of all that DH and I are going to see some houses this weekend. The last one we liked was sold in literally 3 days, so with travel starting up for him again, we can't afford to waste time. Seriously though, can't everyone just wait to visit until we have house with more than 1 bedroom and over 1,000 sq feet so we're not stepping all over each other? I can't wait, I'm really excited that besides the job and reproductive sectors, all the other areas of my life are moving along as planned. Hopefully I'll be KU by the end of 2009 after all.
She's also ubber sensitive at the moment because she was out on Monday, (surprise surprise) to show her visiting family around DC (she has lived here for over 10 years, they've been on the tour before) and corporate decided to give out "dead" accounts including some of her's, to other AE's. Now I'm not saying that was the smoothest move by corporate, I'm sure a lot of AE's would have rather asked before just going after someone else's inactive account, and have the same courtesy extended to them. On Monday one of these "dead" accounts sent her an email (Oh yes, she doesn't put up out of office emails, she just has me check her email and answer things for her, so it looks like she is in the office) and wanted a rate quote. So I emailed back. It was a busy afternoon and the client never got back to me, but I didn't think anything of it.
It turns out the client was being called by an AE up at corporate and so he called them to do his trade instead. Now I am in trouble for emailing instead of calling, and for not trying to reactivate this account on my own, months ago. Um, last time I checked, I do not make any commission or bonuses for re-acts, and you the AE, were out having a grand old time while I was doing both our jobs. When I try to do more active marketing and create better materials, I get shut down and told that I was hired to do customer service and administrative tasks, and I shouldn't "waste my time" with that. So sorry boss lady, but you must be crazy if you think I'm going to make your sales calls for you and do all your dirty work and then take the blame for not making YOU enough money. Last time I checked I wasn't hired to pad your wallet with no gains to my own paycheck or advancement in my own career. Or maybe I was, and that my friends, is the whole problem.
I managed to have a pretty awesome week despite all this stupid crap, my sister and my mom came for a short but long overdue visit. They entertained themselves for a few days and saw the monuments and a couple Smithsonians. We all got to hang out in the evenings after work, and then yesterday I took them around in the afternoon to the the botanical gardens and the capitol building before they drove back to PA. And since this is lets go visit the newlyweds in their cramped apartment month, another set of friends is coming over Sunday night and DH is taking off Monday to show them around. Unfortunately spring means another wave of DH is traveling for work again, and he is leaving Monday night, and our guests are leaving Tuesday morning to stay with other friends in the area. On top of all that DH and I are going to see some houses this weekend. The last one we liked was sold in literally 3 days, so with travel starting up for him again, we can't afford to waste time. Seriously though, can't everyone just wait to visit until we have house with more than 1 bedroom and over 1,000 sq feet so we're not stepping all over each other? I can't wait, I'm really excited that besides the job and reproductive sectors, all the other areas of my life are moving along as planned. Hopefully I'll be KU by the end of 2009 after all.
Thursday, March 5, 2009
Shameful Confession
I've have the most serious PMS of my life even before I started "placebo" week, aka since I ripped my last patch off on Monday, and can't help but wish it was PG symptoms. DH told me my boobs look huge this morning, (no they don't, he was just trying to get some morning nookie) and now I have the completely irrational urge to POAS because AF still hasn't shown up. Now, in all fairness, I almost always got my period on Wednesday or Thursday (depending which day was my patch change day that month, Sunday or Monday) but obviously that doesn't mean squat. I thought for sure this afternoon I felt that familiar feeling in my panties, only to find creamy CM. Freaking hormones are making me a delusional crazy person. The first month back on BC sucks!
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